illustration by Scott Benson

illustration by Scott Benson


Enjoy Scene Three of The Green Knight Chronicles, a tale of Coat of Arms‘ favorite paladin!

Each of our bulletins will feature a segment of this script. When the story ends, Coat of Arms will bring the story to the silver screen for your viewing pleasure.

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SCENE THREE: The Pickled Beet

by Clara Lehmann

EXT. ROAD TOWARD VETIA
Edwin, Fernando, and Burrito travel the mapped path back to Vetia.

FERNANDO V.O.
And so, the Green Knight named Edween, Burrito, and I journeyed seven days and seven nights across a great marsh, two rivers, and the Naihcalappa Mountains to the land of three hundred fields, my home, Vetia.

Fernando and Burrito grin as they lead the knight through the main square of Vetia. Passersby stop and watch the odd trio.

FERNANDO
I’m thirsty, let’s stop here.

Fernando ties Burrito to the hitching post outside the village pub, “The Pickled Beet.” Burrito gulps greedily from the watering trough nearby. The knight follows Fernando inside.

INT. THE PICKLED BEET
Fernando haughtily and proudly saunters into the pub as the knight hunches to clear the entrance. The pub falls quiet as the knight enters. Fernando bellies up to the bar and taps an empty stool for the knight to take a seat.

FERNANDO
We’ll have a pint of the stout, Flanagan.

The tawny-haired bartender nods, places two large pints of beer on the copper-top bar, and stares in awe at the knight.

FERNANDO (CONT’D)
That’s good, thanks.

Fernando eyes Flanagan.

FERNANDO (CONT’D)
Flanagan, we’re good.

Flanagan steps back, crosses his arms, and continues to stare.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
Friendly bunch.

FERNANDO
Oh, they’re just curious. Harmless mostly.

The knight and Fernando toast and gulp down the beer.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
Alright then, how many days till my services are rendered?

FERNANDO
Well, that’s the thing…

Fernando shoves his empty pint to Flanagan, who refills it.

FLANAGAN
Fernando didn’t tell you. That damn beast won’t ravage our fields for two more weeks.

Flanagan refills the knight’s pint too.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
Two weeks! You expect me to hang out in this dump for two weeks.

The entire pub falls silent, Flanagan pounds his bar mop onto the counter, one patron throws a stein at the knight but he ducks just in time. Patrons stare threateningly at the knight. The knight raises his hands in defense.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
(lowering his voice but angrily)
Fernando?

Fernando awkwardly but quickly moves one stool down the bar to avoid the knight. Fernando cowers.

FERNANDO
To be honest, Edween, I thought it would take me longer to acquire your services. And you did insist on leaving in the rain.

The knight slams his fists on the bar. The patrons and Flanagan ease backward.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
What?

Fernando moves again, farther down the bar.

FERNANDO
This will give you time to plan and train the villagers for battle.

The knight’s eyes fill with rage. He grasps the floor boards underneath the bar stools and pulls. The wooden floor crumples inward like carpet as Feranando’s stool lurches forward.

FERNANDO (CONT’D)
Wow!

Patrons in the bar watch the charade in shock. The knight and Fernando stare at one another nose to nose.

FERNANDO (CONT’D)
You’re so strong, Edween.

The knight swings toward the bar and places his head in his hands in frustration.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
It’s EdWIN!

The tension in the room dwindles, as everyone returns to their conversations.

FLANAGAN
(interrupts)
You’ll get your fight. The dragon will show his ugly face on the 22nd at 3:37 and 12 seconds. We’ve even got the countdown ticker to prove it. Most precise timepiece in town.

A pathetic countdown ticker hangs crooked on the wall. Everyone eyeballs the ticker as it counts down the hours.

FERNANDO
Flanagan, really? You’re not helping me out here.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
The damage is done Fernando. Just remember this will cost you.

Flanagan offers the knight another pint of beer. The knight gulps it down in one swig and wipes his mouth hastily.

FERNANDO
Our king is very wealthy. You’ll receive your…

THE GREEN KNIGHT
I thought this was a privately funded endeavor!

FERNANDO
I only said you would be rewarded handsomely. You can’t honestly believe I could finance this scheme. Just look at me. And you saw my donkey.

Edwin stomps toward the exit.

FERNANDO (CONT’D)
Oh please, wait Edween. Tomorrow we’ll go see the king and the princess!

Fernando winks as the focus turns to a framed photograph of the princess that hangs on the wall. All of the men in the room stare at the photograph. One man’s wife pulls a frying pan from behind her back and bangs her husband over the head. Birds circle his head. Returning to Fernando:

FERNANDO (CONT’D)
We will iron out a payment plan with them. I promise it will work out.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
Where am I staying? At least tell me I have a bed to sleep in for all this trouble?

Fernando trots over to the knight, grabs his hand, and welcomes him back to the bar.

FERNANDO
Oh, yes sir. In Vetia, we have the finest beds. Errr, they might be a little small for you. But oh, the finest….Flanagan?

Flanagan retrieves a ring of keys from behind the bar and leads the knight toward a narrow doorway. The knight eyeballs Fernando as he follows Flanagan and passes sideways through a doorway to clear his broad shoulders. Fernando remains in the bar sipping his stout.

INT. THE PICKLED BEET – BEDROOOM
From a high POV in the corner of the bedroom, we watch as the knight enters. His size takes up nearly the entire room and the bed is certainly too small.

THE GREEN KNIGHT
(grumbling)
Small you say, Fernando!

INT. THE PICKLED BEET
Fernando finishes off his beer and slinks toward the exit awkwardly. He sprints to the entrance when he hears a loud cracking and a thud upstairs.

THE GREEN KNIGHT (O.S.)
Fernando!!!!

Fernando exits.

CUT TO BLACK.

TEXT
To be continued…